My Friend Joe
who loves me so
hid his feelings and would never let it show
and when he finally let me know
I had to let him down easy because I loved him so
even though I love him so
I can never let him know
for I married someone else because Joe never let it show.

I’m mad at myself, more at you.
I can’t believe what you chose to do.
I tried helping you and making things right.
It all ended in one huge fight.
I should have known right then and there.
I feel like a friend who didn’t even care.
But I’m still frustrated with you and what you did.
Look, you were only a kid.
Not even eighteen with the whole world to discover,
How am I supposed to tell your mother?
I went to go apologize but you couldn’t talk back.
I found you lying next to your cigarette pack.
One bullet to your head is all it took.
I wish I wouldn’t have taken that first look.
I’m mad at myself for not being there.
But most of all I’m mad at you for not realizing that I did care.
I don’t know if you can read when you are dead,
But please take a look at what I have said.
I told you again and again that things will get better.
I knew I messed up when I read your suicide letter.
I read that you were mad at the world and at me.
But seriously, how can that be?
I helped you through so many things,
Didn’t you see what life brings?
I’m so angry and upset with you.
I just can’t believe what you chose to do.

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It's very hard, isn't it? I am glad you were able to articulate your feelings in such a poem. It took a very long time for me to put into words how I felt. Well done.
~colette
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Thanks, it is really hard to deal with this type of death... especially how it happened, but life goes on and you just have to take one day at a time.
-crystal