i'm so scared that i can't be quiet for you
i've never not yelled in my whole life
screaming screaming screaming till i don't even hear myself
i've never not yelled in my whole life
your hushing makes me unconvulsive
you whisper about growing up quietly
coexisting softly
and dying silently
but i don't think i want to go
without yelling out my name
and i don't think you can handle
my constant noisy racket
i resist all change
with absolute chaos
you have known me long enough to know that
yet i can't let go of you
quietly
because it will hurt too badly
(both the disentanglement and the silence)
yet
you've never given me any reason
to yell
I've never yelled in my whole life
but need to start right now,
i'm so mad that i couldn't be quiet for you
why can't i shutup for the only one i love
i screamed and screamed and screamed till you were gone
convulsingshakingyellingtillidieoveragain
now there's no one to hush me
no one to rock me back to my quiet
no one to keep me from yelling myself deaf
so i yell and i cry and i pound the floor in my hysterics
furious with myself for not muffling the noise
but knowing your silence makes me die