The phone rang i got nervouse
What if it's him....what if it's not
what if he doesn't call at all
i picked up the phone and said "hello?"
A man said is your mother home?
No im sorry she will be home later around 3 or 5
That is what i replied
It wasnt him...he wont call
will he?
i sat down by the phone and waited...waited ...waited
to my suprise the phone rang
was it him? probably not
i picked up the phone and said "hello?"
the voise replied hey really low
It was him he did call me!!
but he sounded sad what was wrong with him what could it be
are you ok i asked as i sat down on the floor
he said i dont wana be with you anymore
i hung up the phone with a click
god! what a d*ck!
i ran to my room and began to cry
i felt as though i would die
put my pillow over my head
oh how i wanted to be dead!
i got up and ripped up al the love letters
It didnt make me feel any better
And the cat he gave me walked passed me on the floor
so i threw him out the door and said dont come back here anymore
the cat ran down the hall
oh why did he have to call!
I thought to my self was it all my fault?
All I wanted was for him to call

I think this is well written. I like the rythem and rhyme. I don't think you should block out the word dick. i think words like fuck bitch slut cunt and shit should all be aloud. Don't stife the power of a cuss word with an asterix(sp!) for those of you with virgin eyes... don't read this ;)Ar?

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the rhyme in the end seems forced, you needn't be dependent on that. your poem has a good message and a nice twist but it needs to stand alone and not use the rhyme as a crutch.-jeni
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Just like the other guy above ithing those words shouldn't be crossed out. especially FUCK because it is a good word. Will you Fuck me tonite
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yeah
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this is kind of childish sounding, but everyone knows the emotion...write a little more freely and don't worry about how it turns out.
anon.