Young Igor found a nice bottle
It's opening just the right size
To give mother a big surprise
With joy, he finished his dottle
And ran homeward full of throttle
Pants down, he pulled out his treasure
Taking a quick look and a measure
Before mother he inserted
But, too quick he was and squirted
And mother frowned at such leisure

Mother should be reported to social services!
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Take my children, PULEEZ :)