introverted

i grew up with a fucked up concept of what life was suppose to mean.
It meant mama was beat while dad went out of his way to cheat.
.
That's not fair, so mama looked at me and said I looked just like daddy.
Angry-no, I was in pain since my mama thought it was o.k. to fuck with my brain by telling shit no parent should tell their kids. Like you are a faggot, without giving me reasons. I had no reasons. I wasn't gay. I was as straight as they come. Alittle strange but wouldn't you be the same walking around my apartment at Four o'clock in the morning watching porn till your older brother came back from Upstate where he was incarcerated due to some drug deals-I think the lady was cop or a fed. Who cares? He wasn't there when I was robbed at gunpoint for jewlery I was rockin'. Sold weed and coke, that's how I had the money. To buy immature expensive shit that had the girls screaming,"there's that nig.." but what does that all mean now. When I think back-picture me-duckin' and hidin' 'cause I owed large sums of greenbacks. Seems like that friend I knew since adolescence found me to be a pain and some kind of a 'bad luck' so he borrowed cash in about two hundred dollar bills and never gave it back. I was good luck. Believe you and me, the girls started to like me(cash) when I grew up to portray their manly man. I quickly became tired of that.
.
I went back inside where no one could harm me.
Where daddy was daddy, and mama used to love me.
.
-^^^^lysander/spark/L.I.F.E/ easy journey...08.23.02