Current poems in progress...

My day I feel, is rather green,
---Jonathan FeBland, Edgware, UK
IAlthough I thought it would be blue
---memo
The colours mingle in-between,
---Jonathan FeBland, Edgware, UK
Life-blood of bud and thoughts of you
---Anonymous
I miss you, cheese.
---Michelle
you melt inside my head, you bubble in my ears
---jo, joland
And make pancakes look like sheep
---Anonymous
you drift in between my nostrils
---Anonymous
and terrorize my breathing
---Anonymous
so i will stay awake all night
---Anonymous
Leaving on my light
---Anonymous
and i will fan the feelings away
---Anonymous
with a tennis racquet
---Anonymous
So that I can sleep without a fright
---Edward Lowe, Surrey, London, England, Europe, Earth, the Solar system, etc.
i think i must face my fears
---helen nave, nh
fire my doctor
---helen nave, nh
wipe away all my tears
---helen nave, nh
and eat some pizza!
---helen nave, nh
With a side-dish of salad
---J.S.FeBland, Edgware, UK

Welcome "Writers Support Group"

Communication these days
---Jonathan FeBland, Edgware, UK
Is with a "beep" or "ring"
---trina mcneill, scotland
Or with a tune that topped the pops,
---teedee, scotland
Or even one from Bing!
---Anonymous
ring ring ring it goes in my ear
---Anonymous
my pet ant, bird, chuckles madly
---Anonymous
Another mad monkey in the midst of this mad world.
---Anonymous

The full moon hid behind a cloud
---memo
Reflecting a half-remembered year
---Jonathan FeBland, Edgware, UK
Revealing those who are dear
---Anonymous
drinking somber, nowhere-bound.
---amanda, kentucky, usa
I feel terrible in my heart
---Anonymous
I want the happiness, once again found
---Anonymous
NEW YORK!!!
---Anonymous, NYC ma friend
My city of lost souls
----M
your opulence is now sterile
----M
but my steps are more confident
----M
if only thoughts could follow
----M

Nice, I can picture ghosts, stuck on Earth, longing to pass on.
But um, New York, rather seems out of place here. Though that could be fixed if the setting was new York, where one might imagine many ghosts were indeed stuck.
Charles Petrie

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Nice, I can picture ghosts, stuck on Earth, longing to pass on.
But um, New York, rather seems out of place here. Though that could be fixed if the setting was New York, where one might imagine many ghosts were indeed stuck.
Charles Petrie

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Apologies for the double posting, there's no editing feature and I thought I could edit a simple oopsie.
Charles Petrie

Sitting comfortably on the couch,
---cjb, Ireland
My TV remote close at hand,
---Anonymous
I hear the static behind the screen
---Anonymous
Then the girl from the movie the Ring crawls out of the TV
---Anonymous
she was beautiful, with skin so fair
---Anonymous
she made me backflip, like a singers hair
---Anonymous
but i failed and landed on my bum
---Weird Head Girl
and yet my glass is full of rum
----M

When the sun rises in the west
---Michelle
And the whole world is turned around
---Chee Eun Ahn
The fragrant flowers looses its smell
---Chee Eun ahn
Turning into a brownish haze.
---Chee Eun Ahn
The birds begin its song at night
---Chee Eun Ahn
Bears and its cubs hibernate in the summer
---Anonymous
the winter u dope not the summer
---Weird Head Girl
If no one cares to wind the clock
----M
each frozen moment will turn to dust.
----M

Where is that one that once I loved,
---teedeedee, glasgow
Her memory lingers on,
---After Loss, Scotland
And all those years,
---jimbob, england
I've searched in vain,
---Anonymous
Thro rain and snow and wind and rain,
---Anonymous
By car and bus and boat and train,
---Anonymous
The city street, the country lane,
---Anonymous
Here and there by aeroplane,
---Anonymous
Tho I try I can't explain,
---Anonymous
But, come next year I'll try again.
---Anonymous

A bird, a parcel and your reflection
----M
a string of memories around my neck
----M
And what does it all mean
---Charles Petrie, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
to you after the storm has cleared
----M
And the bird but sings hauntingly
---Charles Petrie, Montreal, Quebec, Canada
through the rustle of autumn leaves
----M
a book in a box, a word in a sentence
----M
strangled on the page, opposite
---k
the mirror you don't believe
---k
can harness the drift, focus the depth
----M

I'm new to The Interactive Poetry page, but I dare do say, I'll be a frequent contributor as I write many poems a year and am always interested in collaborating on poetry and stories.
Charles Petrie

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I'm new to The Interactive Poetry page, but I dare do say, I'll be a frequent contributor as I write many poems a year and am always interested in collaborating on poetry and stories.
Charles Petrie

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Am I the only one who's going to be commenting here?
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No :-)
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So...we're all okay with constructive criticism about lines?
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So...we're all okay with constructive criticism about lines?
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sure if you feel like it...but I don't personally critique poetry...because I feel Poetry is total freedom...contrary to other types of writing...that's why I'm not into rhyming -M
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It's not about rhyming/not rhyming, I'm sensing story potential in this poem and I want to work on the bird, the parcel and the reflection.
And...line 4, I'd move the to you to the third, or dump it.
We good?
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It's not about rhyming/not rhyming, I'm sensing story potential in this poem and I want to work on the bird, the parcel and the reflection.
And...line 4, I'd move the to you to the third, or dump it.
We good?
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We can't complicate it too much...better to go with the flow...no editing possible...this is a final first draft :-) -M
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What a pleasure! -M