Current poems in progress...

My day I feel, is rather green,
IAlthough I thought it would be blue
The colours mingle in-between,
Life-blood of bud and thoughts of you
I miss you, cheese.
you melt inside my head, you bubble in my ears
And make pancakes look like sheep
you drift in between my nostrils
and terrorize my breathing
so i will stay awake all night
Leaving on my light
and i will fan the feelings away
with a tennis racquet
So that I can sleep without a fright
i think i must face my fears
fire my doctor
wipe away all my tears
and eat some pizza!
With a side-dish of salad

Welcome "Writers Support Group"

Communication these days
Is with a "beep" or "ring"
Or with a tune that topped the pops,
Or even one from Bing!
ring ring ring it goes in my ear
my pet ant, bird, chuckles madly
Another mad monkey in the midst of this mad world.

The full moon hid behind a cloud
Reflecting a half-remembered year
Revealing those who are dear
drinking somber, nowhere-bound.
I feel terrible in my heart
I want the happiness, once again found
NEW YORK!!!
My city of lost souls
your opulence is now sterile
but my steps are more confident
if only thoughts could follow

Nice, I can picture ghosts, stuck on Earth, longing to pass on.
But um, New York, rather seems out of place here. Though that could be fixed if the setting was new York, where one might imagine many ghosts were indeed stuck.
Charles Petrie

-------
Nice, I can picture ghosts, stuck on Earth, longing to pass on.
But um, New York, rather seems out of place here. Though that could be fixed if the setting was New York, where one might imagine many ghosts were indeed stuck.
Charles Petrie

-------


-------
Apologies for the double posting, there's no editing feature and I thought I could edit a simple oopsie.
Charles Petrie

Sitting comfortably on the couch,
My TV remote close at hand,
I hear the static behind the screen
Then the girl from the movie the Ring crawls out of the TV
she was beautiful, with skin so fair
she made me backflip, like a singers hair
but i failed and landed on my bum
and yet my glass is full of rum

When the sun rises in the west
And the whole world is turned around
The fragrant flowers looses its smell
Turning into a brownish haze.
The birds begin its song at night
Bears and its cubs hibernate in the summer
the winter u dope not the summer
If no one cares to wind the clock
each frozen moment will turn to dust.

Where is that one that once I loved,
Her memory lingers on,
And all those years,
I've searched in vain,
Thro rain and snow and wind and rain,
By car and bus and boat and train,
The city street, the country lane,
Here and there by aeroplane,
Tho I try I can't explain,
But, come next year I'll try again.

A bird, a parcel and your reflection
a string of memories around my neck
And what does it all mean
to you after the storm has cleared
And the bird but sings hauntingly
through the rustle of autumn leaves
a book in a box, a word in a sentence
strangled on the page, opposite
the mirror you don't believe
can harness the drift, focus the depth

I'm new to The Interactive Poetry page, but I dare do say, I'll be a frequent contributor as I write many poems a year and am always interested in collaborating on poetry and stories.
Charles Petrie

-------
I'm new to The Interactive Poetry page, but I dare do say, I'll be a frequent contributor as I write many poems a year and am always interested in collaborating on poetry and stories.
Charles Petrie

-------
Am I the only one who's going to be commenting here?
-------
No :-)
-------
So...we're all okay with constructive criticism about lines?
-------
So...we're all okay with constructive criticism about lines?
-------
sure if you feel like it...but I don't personally critique poetry...because I feel Poetry is total freedom...contrary to other types of writing...that's why I'm not into rhyming -M
-------
It's not about rhyming/not rhyming, I'm sensing story potential in this poem and I want to work on the bird, the parcel and the reflection.
And...line 4, I'd move the to you to the third, or dump it.
We good?
-------
It's not about rhyming/not rhyming, I'm sensing story potential in this poem and I want to work on the bird, the parcel and the reflection.
And...line 4, I'd move the to you to the third, or dump it.
We good?
-------
We can't complicate it too much...better to go with the flow...no editing possible...this is a final first draft :-) -M
-------
What a pleasure! -M