Kicking the sea barrel, I turn counter-clockwise to greet the tide
The sea was stronger than expected and my feet took a glide
Neck deep in salted waters, eyes and nose full of brine
Lost my grip on the bottle and now i have no more wine
Soaked like a pair of toddler shorts, the water's weight pulls me down
Again the sea has found another way to laugh at me like a drunken clown
Well, I'll have the last laugh as I reach for the bobbing sea barrel
It bucks and knocks my groin - it is a good thing i'm already sterile
On this oaken bitch I'll gallop free on the waves that try to engulf me
Then up from the bottom springs the lost bottle of wine hitting my knee
It's a good thing I'm already a cripple with no more use of that joint
When i get to the shore i'll have to drink and get to the point
And I know I'll come up with something, I will, as I pull onto land
The barrel bounced on a rock and i gripped it in my leathery hand
And rode on like a strapper - straight and true to the dock
Land was finally reached where i lost my drawers and my jock
And this here is the point then lads, which I exclaim unto you
The sea is much like my sister which i live with in my shoe

A fanciful ditty :)