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Poem Number 7503
Mirror, mirror


Commentary:
If I turn the glass
just right
I phase myself out of view.
The questions to ask of the one I see
hard to hear from muted memory
imbeded somewhere in mirror's eyes.
Mirror, mirror
tell me true
if I move you
will you still see me?
Mirrors eyes
my eyes
no different
when someone who's soul
is searching
looks me in the eyes
asking the same questions
I ask of you.
Mirror, mirror
who do you see
my soul
or yours?
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Very, very poor indeed. Can somebody write something that makes some sense please???
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Dear oh dear. We've been pleading for that for the past 14 years. BR.
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before prodceeding, i need to state I had nothing to do with this 'poem,' but i'm always seeing these complaints of old men stuck to every post like barnacles. Always the same..."Can somebody write something that makes some sense please???"
"We've been pleading for blablablabla, etc...ad nauseuam...."
How about you lead by example? Draw your beautiful line of verse in the sand and dare us wankers and posers to cross it. i mean, are you writers or cantankerous old men /critics?
If you're not capable of creation, then just pick a shining artifact from the archives of IPP's Golden Age (back when the average contributer wrote like Robert Lowell, & your commentaries were great too) and post it. If I had to bet on your possible responses to this, I'd say it wouldn't be writing a good poem.

-Symon
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Fabulous. I love it when Symon hasn't been snorting talcum powder. His scribbles actually make sense.
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this poem is a combination of words that could bounce elegantly off the synapses of the reader to create a music that resonates with the thoughtful - that some would dismiss it gives the song it creates more veracity that a reflection is not always an accurate rendition...
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when I wrote this peice, it was and is about looking in a mirror. It's about what we see looking back.
I realize there will always be critics when anyone writes, they come like hungry birds waiting to devour.
If I or anyone who writes here allow the critics stop them, then the critics who tend to have problems writing something of a creative nature themselves, will end up distroying the need to write.
It would seem that for the critics it's so easy to tear something up rather than to sit down and write something of value.
Wendy
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Hello Wendy,
I agree with you wholly. And Please keep writing! Then perhaps we'll have more actual poetic content on this site, rather than the usual reams of humorless male-menopausings disguised as critique. O well, you're right, nature produces destroyers of all types, and they
They've yet to realize that remarks such as "this is shit" or "terrible" are the most worthless possible comments.
Why?:
1. Even in the case when a poem is awful...simply typing "lame, sucks, etc." as a response is very boring for any of us to read. It's not even witty in its mean-spiritedness. People come here to READ. Logging on to IPP and seeing such lazy, negative writing in the comments is more disappointing than a mediocre poem (I'm not referring to your poem, Wendy...just speaking generally) .
2. If you, the critick, feel a poem doesn't deserve a thoughtful, constructive critique, and then opt for your usual arsenal: "lame, shit, poor, etc."; well then, you're more useless than that amateur poet, because they don't know WHY you thought it was bad/how you thought it could be improved, or even what your standards are; but you're also useless to the casual reader, because, as i suggested earlier, just one or two negative adjectives shed light on absolutely nothing, and they're not funny...nor amusing to read.

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Hello,
I didn't catch your name. It helps to know who I'm talking to when responding.
I have no intention of stopping in my writing.
One of the things I've always loved about this site is that it's premise is to allow people to write and get honest feed back.
I do know this attracts more than just people who are here for the afore mentioned premise.
I have no need of getting my ego stroked as it were, if I wanted that I would have put my writing out where people would do nothing but tell me how wonderful it is, or what ever. I don't need that.
I do know that when I write I need to get feed back that will help in writing better.
If something I write works, great. Time to write something else, you know what I mean?
I used to come to this site regularily, but events, such as moving 1200 miles away and starting from ground zero as it were made getting back here a little difficult.
And what used to be so fluent is now difficult. But being someone who believes that if the well was once open, it can be open again.
I've been searching the finished poems for my work and have found some, but at the time I never saw a need to sign my name to more than just a couple.
I've spent time reading poems from the same time period, and it would seem that the same kind of critics that were roaming this place back there are still here, maybe different names, but they are still present and accounted for.
I really would like to read some of their poetry and see how well they are able to stir the creative fire.
Wendy
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sorry about the no name (i was VERY sleepy, now even sleepier)...it was just me, Symon again, elaborating upon our earlier conversation; and being unable to stop typing, i shall now extend my commentary beyond that which is necessary, or natural.
----So anyway...like you, I don't mind when someone finds fault in something I've written. I'm sure very few of us come here expecting incessant praise. However, i know we'd all benefit from more thoughtful responses to our work , even if (or especially when) they're not favorable the the poem in question. At the very least, it'd make this a more entertaining site to visit, because the higher-caliber postings, and it just may be helpful to the poets.

Yrs,
Symon
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Hey Symon,
Are you the same Symon who's been around this place for several years?
If you are, then hello again.
It would be nice someone being constructive in their comments, instead of the word wars that seem to go on here.
There is one way to look at this, if the writers here can keep writing inspite of people like James who seem to hang around this place and become obsessed with making everyone do it "right", then it just makes the writers stronger when they start getting rejection letters from publishing houses start sending them.
And a strong determined writer is better equiped to not be dissuaded from writing by people who live in the world with magnifing glasses hanging off their faces.
In truth writers, artists and musicians have always had to deal with E.O.F.'s, easily offended people for as long as we've been doing our creative dance.
Here's somthing else to think about, if we allow the critics or self appointed jugde of what is bad or good to stop us, then we have agreed with their take on things.
Most of thoes folks are small minded, and why would you or I or anyone else for that matter really give a shit about what they think anyway?
We don't write for them. If we did, we'd be writing about oatmeal and it's nutruional value or some other equally borning stuff.
We come here, just like the people before us who wrote and had their stuff crucified, I can think of many writers who have been and are persuicuted for their work, to write and if that writing contains words that make the reader uncomfortable then maybe the reader needs to deal with the logs that are in their own eyes.
It's always been like this for artists in any media.
I wonder if the guys who drew on cave walls faced this kind of crap...
I can see it now:
cave artist is hard at work, depicting the trib's latest kill, cave critic walks in and starts throwing a fit because cave artist isn't doing it in the right color of mud.
:)
Wendy

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Yes, it is the same Symon. I guess i'm somewhat of a veteran here. Yep, once again, i agree with you, and your approach is probably the sanest one with to use this site. However, I'd like to stress I DO NOT want to put a gag on the critics. They play a valuable role here, but not by default. There ARE interesting ways of lambasting a ridiculous poem, and I've done it.

My main point was inspired by the difference between getting criticized, say, at a poetry reading or something similar, and then getting criticized on IPP. When getting criticized at a poetry reading, it's usually instructive, since the person wants to at least appear intelligent. They'll try to be a Real Critic, and say something interesting, even when they're tanking you. That's all i was getting at, really.

a bientot!,
-Symon
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Back to the original work then. Inspired by the fairytale mirror, presumably. A reasonable idea but you write as if the mirror has a soul, which mirrors do not. Have I missed the point completely? Is this about mental illness? There is plenty of evidence of it around in the commentary.
Ped Ant
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Actually the inspiration comes from the idea that when we look in the mirror the immage captured is the embodiment of our perception. And in that way, the mirror does have a sudo soul in a way.
I also drew from the idea that we are all mirrors for each other, reflecting back what we are shown.
I have a fancination for mirrors.
wendy
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Yes, I like Ped's analysis of this piece. Mental illness certainly abounds in this piece. I wouldn't be at all surprised if the author is recounting a personal experience of such an illness. Never having (knowingly) suffered from anything similar, it does give a fascinating insight into the mental workings of a defective. BR
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What the hell are you idiots talking about? It's certainly interesting sometimes what you see in a poem about mirrors...br and pedant.
Personally, I have always found a mirror to be empowering...
I like the way this girl thinks...don't pay attention to these twisted idiots wendy...sometimes they have a penchant for looking up their ass instead of in the mirror. You are on the right track.

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--------------------------------------------------------------------------
wordville
A messy tangle of life
found themselves
stranded on a deserted highway.
Standing there thinking,
the participant finds vacancy everywhere.
"Isn't this the right road?
the one to wordville?
the place where dreams appear
with just a wave of a pencil?"
Wordville.
The sign is half covered
like some drunken sod
still lost in oblivion
the morning after a three day dive
into the anistetic depths
that is aviable in cans.
12, 20 and 40 0z.
Wordville.
The goal for a person who's life
lay in wreched ruins
from having too much life
every single day of their lives.
Wordville.
That intoxicant that holds the human race
binds it
violates it until the intent no longer exists
in orignal form that is.
It's a magnetic place
one that holds you
but no one ever told you
it isn't the only place
that the map holds
they just told you
if you wanna be heard
you gotta go to
wordville.
The particpant stumbles
half-baked ideas
stare at them
making rude noises to denote
their dissatisfaction
at their present condition.
Guilt perches on naked trees
stripped bare
by toxic notions
that died on this road
to wordville.
"Parched to the soul
that's what I am,"
shouts the participant
slowly becomming something else
much to their chargin,
"I am so dry for want of waterwords.
And the best waterwords
are found only in
wordville.
I've been told so
and believe it to be so."
An explaination for the benefit
of his hearing
so that fear
discouragement
doubt
will not stop this journey
now way beyond the point
of returning.
wordville.
The place where anything is said
any time
anywhere
and place.
Kind of like a bar fight
that's just waiting to break out!
wordville.
your pain away from home.
Come and see the circus side show
at wordville.
the human race lives in this small town.
But no one told them that.
The sign sighs
as the participant sits down.
pavement fodder.
A familiar wind comes to dance.
paticipating participant
now black as the road
consumed
without concent
by the ever reaching hands
that live in the shadows
in
wordville.
Fade to Black.
------
wendy

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Quote "What the hell are you idiots talking about? It's certainly interesting sometimes what you see in a poem about mirrors...br and pedant."
Sorry for asking questions about the poem...they were meant to be enquiries about the meaning not criticisms. In the latest poem, I would prefer Fade to Grey rather Fade to Black - it seems more appropriate to the piece.
Ped Ant
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It's funny thing about this peice, it was like watching an old black and white move, and the last line is when the story is done on the movie and the screen goes black, but fade to grey gives the peice the feeling of something that opened up out of the grey and when the viewer no longer sees it, it goes back into the grey mist...I really like that. Thank you.
Wendy
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