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Haiku - Two
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Poem Number 1523
Deep in Autumn
Grandpa's house shifts and settles
into it's last days
Commentary:
too long :(
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creaks instead of settles??
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drop the "and" if you feel you must, use a comma but not necessary just choice.
--GrandmaThing--Know love. or even "Gramp's"?
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creaks sounds good and thanks GT will do a re-write...a
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Alice - a poignant picture. I love the way the first and last line
blend together. Reminds me of a picture my mother(she's 88) took
of her childhood home two years ago. The seedling she planted as a child
now stands straighter and taller than the house she remembers. PG
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thank you PG.. wasn't too happy with the middle line, but glad brought back some memories.....alice
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