Mirror, mirror on the wall....
who is most handsome of them all? of course, Derius, you are, so they tarry and gall, praying and praying for your down fall, all of those dudes hate you, short fat and tall, race, backgraound and
language and all, and if you're not careful, they'll see to it, that you fall

Always remember:
What appears in your mirror
Is a flat image
-blunder-
-------
what would you think if
you should hear that my mirror
casts no reflection
-the count
-------
Dear Count Dracula
Go get a nice and sharp pole
To push through your hearth

Then for sure you’ll see
A wonderful red image
Matching your sharp teeth
-duke blunder-

-------
note to my dear duke
thank you for your wise counsel
here goes...nothing...aaack!
 
aaargh...its the old pain
like a dagger in the heart
from a false mistress
 
during my rapture...
the wonderful red vision
has escaped from me
 
my hopes have been dashed
gain'st the unforgiving rocks
of a cruel sea
 
amid my despair...
forgive me if i should scream
whil'st i fall apart
~count dustula~
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i.e. ~count oeg of dustula~