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Salon of Solo Poetry for Critique - Five
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Poem Number 3731
Become Someone Different
Commentary:
must be the colors and the kids
that keep me alive
learning nothing and wearing on.
the bandages fall off one by one.
bruises get blacker
the tide flowing in again and again,
my heart worn thin.
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very condensed & powerful. if it's your feelings being expressed try more yellow plus not someone different - more of you;) Also you're learning something because this is a great poem in my view...jax
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i like cat power too
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