Love like Skinner

It is said that there is a connection;
a filament of something strung when
your actions are followed by reward.

Joy. Pleasure. Do you remember them as
they lit your neural passages; this electric
flicker as it skittered along the long,
dark rivers of your mind?

Love? Merely a spasm in the cortex.
Simply a biological response to the biological need
to be more than only one bundle of genes and impulses,
to become two.

To not be alone.

To have the ability to take.
Not without its prices and limitations, because
you must learn to give without negative reciprocity
if
you are to remain two.

Sometimes, it is too hard to ignore
the biological imperative to take without thinking about
who you are taking from. Sometimes, you slip
back into your animal brain: grunt, smash and gorge as if
it were really only about you.

But as I was saying, the thread.
Connecting your actions to joy.

Like Pavlov’s bitch, like Skinner’s Deborah,
the conditioning was the easy part.
Fawn, admire, support.
Receive love in return.
Repeat as needed.

It was easy when the pellets popped up in a predictable
pattern; when the tenuous connections between action
and reward were observable and had power.

But long ago did the lab empty; so long since the last
morsel emerged when the desired behavior occurred. And predictably,
like Skinner’s rat, I have forgotten why it was good to obey the imperative to love.

The only question left to be answered is:
Was the experiment a failure
or
a success?

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Could you stop making such strides - you're showing the rest of us up?
I personally think we should launch a social approach which goes beyond love (a.k.a trying to stop us clubbing each other over the head the entire time). We should launch the creed of tolerance - you're tolerable so I'll live with you for a few months - the Britney approach
Jax
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great concepts..

to take Jax's idea a step further, i think romantic relationships should have terms that are renewable, say, at the end of every five years. at that time, you and your partner do a relationship audit and have the decision to continue it or move on without remorse. no worrying about divorce, since there isn't any marriage in the traditional sense, and you can avoid the dreaded 7 year itch.

amber


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Good poem. I enjoy the idea of love as biological imperative instead of metaphysical event. As I have gotten older, I have begun to think that love is overly sentimentalized. I'm beginning to think the key to lasting relationships isnt' an all encompassing passionate love, but an abiding love that is willing to overlook a partner's faults. Basically, finding ideal love is finding someone you genuinely LIKE and who will put up with your shit. Amber, R. Heinlien and other science fiction writers had the idea of "contract marriages". I think they're one fine idea. Makes things really simple, renew or walk away.
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oops, forgot to sign that last comment. Twas I, Moussifer
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wow, everyone, I did not expect such a response! I wrote this in response to a course I took where we read Walden Two, Freud's Cilization and its Discontents, and Wilson's book On Human Nature, where he argues for evolutionary biology and the physical adaptive aspects of what we think are "social" or cultural. Though I disagreed with him heartily (be still my romantic soul) I could see the point of considering our biological imperatives. Thinking of Skinner's daughter, or of conditioning of dogs, made me realize how conditioned I am to behaving--not such an independant acting soul when it comes down to it. But, like any irrational human being, just because society conditions me to behave a certain way, doesn't mean I have to like it, or must obey it. Or at least, that's what I tell myself!

On another note though, as everyone seems to be saying, seriously considering that love could be biological and not "just" emotional or spiritual really seems to help understand why hearts and minds wander sometimes. Are we meant to be monogamous our entire lives? I have no problem with loving one person at a time, but think that as people grow and change, who is to say that your partner is still someone that you will love..or vice versa? I like the renewal option. Sounds like a great plan. Then, if everything is still good, no harm no foul.

pandora
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Pandora
Can I use that as a novel title - no harm no fowl - or has some one famous already done so?
It's a chicken rearing novel;)
Jax
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Peck away.

:)
Char
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As always Pandora, you write so beautifuly. Ahh to have such talent. I vote for the renewal option whole heartedly. It beats smacking them with the frying pan ;-)
New to the forum
Janet