?

i really don't get it. they tell her i'm bossy and hard to work with. yet they send me flowers and we have a good time getting projects out the door. i don't get it. where is reality in this? hey, don't say it's somewhere in the middle. that's bullshit. what i need to do is to be very still, to interact in a quality was but only as required. i will observe them in great detail and probingly with my empathic skills. eventually, their hypocrisy and self deception will become blatant. we are all this way to varying degrees. there is just a HUGE amount of it in this office. backstabbing, lying, two-faced, harshly unself awares people with lots of issues with authority and others who are successful.

really, i wonder if they are suited for the reality of the work. it is changing rapidly. the organization will soon be reinvented and the pressure will be unbearable to workers who can't handle the current status quo.

so, after the nuclear explosion with the asshole, it was suggested i do a 360 performance review with a coach. there was great surprise when i clapped with glee and indicated "i can't wait! this is great!". must have thought i'd be offended and push back. i let it be know that i was about to hire a coach on my own money but now that's not necessary and i will hear what the bullshitters have to say myself - in the privacy of the 360. lol... i hope the coach has some strategies for motivating molly coddled, self-pitying egotists (not all of them) who want all the benefits but refuse to work overtime, miss a lunch here or there to eat at desk to meet a critical unexpected deadline, who refuse to answer their cell phone or BB on a weekend or at night and they aren't in a union position. am i hard assed? they think i am. mang, if they tried to work where i come from.... first they'd never be hired. second, IF somehow their lying got them into a desk, the first day they'd puke all over the keyboard, shit their pants, be rude, quickly become paranoid and flee the building never to return.

here is what my average day is like right now. this is what i am juggling minute by minute:

i manage my company's reputation and we have a real PR "war" with a group who take exception to a major infrastructure project we are legally obligated to build. the shovels go into the ground Monday, June 2 and already it's a media and legal circus with threats of human chain blockades of major highways and a ferry terminal, as well as community roads and bus routes, civil disobedience, a class action law suit, vandalism and sabotage and blocking construction crews access to sites. plus, someone has compiled a list of direct phone lines and emails and has distributed it to opposition groups. we are being flooded with desperate, nasty, threatening and paranoid communications. we have locked down the main floor. you can't get up the elevator if you haven't been signed in through a rigorous security process of multiple checks and balances. our workers are being followed, harassed and sometimes threatened as they go about their work day in the affected community and when they are off duty. one fellow was harassed at a local lake over the weekend where he took his family to camp. there is campaign of lies and intimidation promoted within the community with innocent people now, by their actions and statements, willing to "throw themselves on the tracks" so to speak for the "cause" who will go to jail and or end up with criminal records. none of this in necessary but you may not be aware of the extent to which some people will go they feel righteous.

there is so much more. i am in constant contact with a team of lawyers, expert communicators, specialists in community relations. i deal with the government at senior levels. i sit on steering committees, develop far reaching strategies, put out fires, and at the same time must deal with staff who are not up to the challenge in the way i need them to be there to support me. there isn't time to always explain in detail and in a way that makes sense and feels good to junior staff member why i need something done. or why, after hearing their suggestions, i advance a different strategy based on expert and legal advice i can't share with them or due to the nature of the file or situation simply don't have time to. why am i called a "Guru" at my job. because i get it done! i need the proper support to make it happen. but hey, give me the 360 and i'll incorporate what i learn and charm their pants off. when i figure it out, i'll find higher paying jobs for them somewhere else and then staff up with the quality people i need. i can handle a longterm strategic plan. that's another one of my specialties.

come on, let's play ball. batter up?