The Interactive Poetry Pages

Salon of Solo Poetry for Critique - Four


View poem without authors
Top Welcome Page for the Interactive Poetry Pages.
Poem Number 559
Hunched over, he was.
---Anonymous
His wrinkled skin reflecting no light.
---Anonymous
His great limbs swing with only a rhythm that he could understan.
---Anonymous
How many years had he seen?
---Anonymous
Fifty?
---Anonymous
Nintey?
---Anonymous
He did not know, nor did it matter now.
---Anonymous
Standing alone, wind pushing at him with seductive tugs.
---Anonymous
Children giggling around him, unseeing.
---Anonymous
Bumping into him, appologies missing.
---Anonymous
He only stands there, silent,
---Anonymous
Weeping,
---Anonymous
As he has always done, without complaint.
---Anonymous
Until the blade, shivering, and shining,
---Anonymous
Seeks to strike him down.
---Anonymous
He will not struggle, will not swing his great limbs,
---Anonymous
Will not fight,
---Anonymous
As
---Anonymous
He
---Anonymous
Falls.
---Anonymous
((((((((((((((((((((
---Anonymous
(((((((((((((((((((9
---Anonymous
SamIAm
---Anonymous


Commentary:
Line 8 contridicts itself. Sorry. (SamIAm)
-------
maybe "standing alone the wind tugs at him seductively" ?... why did he always stand there?... enjoyed this SamIAm....alice
-------
seems draining (from a reader's standpoint)
-------
Don't think of him as human. Maybe.....a tree? I use to work at an "old folk's home" and allot of those people were ignored, thought beautiful in their young age, and then cut down when they out-grew their usefulness. (SamIAm)
Add to commentary


Unless specifically noted otherwise, copyrights for all lines entered belong to the authors only.
View poem without authors
Return to current poems in progress.
Completed Poems.
Top Welcome Page for the Interactive Poetry Pages.
Send a general comment to the web author, or view some of the comments left by others.
Thanks in advance for any feedback you can pass on.
Disruption report - Please choose this link to report any disruptive or offensive entries, or closing sprees, if they appear. Thank you.

Brought to you by Ann Cantelow.