Time Lines
Blurred on retrospect
Seemed so vivid then
But then I looked through a lover's eyes
Not through the wisdom years can bring
Now it's but a misty dream
That brings a twinke to my eye

The plunder of your ravenous eyes
rips me raw, leaving me exposed,
naked to myself.
.
I cannot deny the arousal of fingertips
stroking me from the inside out
or, the sweet torture of hungry kisses
seeking equally famished lips.
.
Soothing as a sigh, a whisper of wind
through the trees, your voices entice,
your mind diamond cut, multi-faceted
wonderland of my every fantasy.
.
I can taste you, feel you, but I know
the beauty of words is an unreliable
barometer which doesn't really measure
the truth of the reality.
.
Secretly, you feel this too, and yet still
you push impatiently, unwilling to accept
the seasons of life have a natural
progression - they will not be forced.

-------
first and second verses are great! you start to lose the threat by the
middle of two. I see where you're going with voices, but it's out of
context and should be voice unless you word it so the "voices" metaphor
hits home. you use words well. I have the same problem veering off after
the first or second verse. words are like children sometimes, we don't
want to let go. keep going, you're miles above some of the others I've
read.
-------
Your comments are appreciated
Thank you.