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Salon of Poetry for Critique - Three
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Poem Number 319
We Can Rebuild Candyland!
Commentary:
I picked a card and went right by
the shortcut of the rainbow trail
the sight of broken candy hearts
enough to make me wail
I then strolled through my forest striped
now broken, stripped of sweet
paused beneath the sugar plum tree
but found no fruit to eat
clouds enshrouded gumdrop peaks
and blocked the mountain pass
forcing me the long way ‘round
and kept my sweet tooth chaste
my peanut brittle summer home
had burned down to the ground
all ‘twas left, just bubbled char
was all that could be found
the lollypop woods, once bright with color
now just empty pain
their canopy dissolved away
by walls of driving rain
greenhouse gas had warmed away
the ice cream in the sea
the molasses in my sugar swamp
all drained away from me
one might think that all is lost
amidst such sweet despair
but the candy man, he has a plan
and recipes to share
so grab an apron and a spoon
your sweet tooth must be itching
let’s start a fire in the stove in this
my candy kitchen
-------
Very Cool. Starr.
-------
Jell-O is cool, too. ;)
The View Through My Lime Green Jell-O-Scope
wiggly sweet all jiggly giggle
emerald soft with squishy middle
looking through my Jell-O lens
this green sweet world, never ends
-------
"Hold on. I'm coming with me Hunny Jar!"
~pooh bear
-------
a honey bear gives me a squeeze
that brings me to my aching knees
where everywhere I amber bleed
the sweet release of honey bees
she brings my life’s blood to her lips
transported on her finger tips
to taste my gore in eager sips
amd hence her appetite eclipse
with honey dripping from her tongue
she sets a foot upon this rung
and starts to climb (the night is young)
our sticky concert far from done
this sugar high won’t last that long
please beat my drum (I’ll bang your gong)
together we will sing this song
in notes so sweet they can’t be wrong
-------
Oh,buzzing well.S.
-------
~pooh bear [upon reading the above post] has suffered an ecstacileptic siezure which has tightened the muscles of his face into a smile reaching from ear to ear and hence cannot be awakened from his delirium with no amount of poking or prodding.
-------
Ahhhh. Nervana!
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