TRAPPED

In the mirror
I see
aging eyes
brimming
with longing
to understand life
before I die
the bible
has words and lines
I cannot bury my
my truth
between
nor rest my
unsatisfied soul
without guilt
trying to crush
what I need to survive
this side of heaven
so I linger
in moments between
my far flung dreams
and what’s expected of me
and question-
but who?
Not God.
You cannot question God-
so in the mirror
I stare and see
aging eyes
brimming
with longing to understand
and me
going on into infinity
too cowardly
or fearing hell
to smash
the
glass
where I am trapped
within my own
refection.
************************************

-------
I assume you have written this and the poem prior. Based on that assumption I offer this:
I admire the way you have carved out of your pain these poems, the skill you brought to them in form and the courage to share them with us. I hope the pain is abated some by this small channel cut into yourself.
How well I understand these words “The Bible has words and lines I cannot bury my truth between” since reading Luke and reading John would make one believe Christ was two very different people and yet I follow Christ. (Note I did not call myself a Christian) because…….well
Men have added too much baggage to that word. I know this from experience. It is better to love than it is to hate. I know that ones happiness comes from inside and to look for it anywhere else is to be very disappointed
I wish you the very best and thank you for the poems.
Jake
-------
Thank you for understanding Jake and for wise thoughts. If only life were as black and white as some people try and make it. They say pain makes one strong, sometimes I think being weak not so bad. :)