`
my love~

you are not deeper
than the pond i fished as a boy,
or better than the bread
baked by my mother.
your lips are not
softer than the pillow
of my childhood,
or safer than the arms of my father.
you are not wiser,
or truer, or more real
than imagination and daydreams.
you are not more perfect
than the perfection of innocence.
but you are now, and you are real,
and you are lovely.


)Kaleb

-------
poor old girl-no better than bread, pillow's or a pond! But as she was there......
T.F.G
-------
"Love the one you're with."
sg
-------
On a more serious note, I don't know how to fix this poem but the comments of T.F.G. are a true reaction to the poem. Reading it, first time, I didn't get quite that reaction. I just thought you meant, "you can't be all things beautiful that I've known but you are lovely." That lacks punch. Nobody can be everything. especially a mate. I don't know. I think of something like, "we'll make love and it was be perfect, it will be wonderful but then we'll get up in the mornings and the whole wonderful wonderful world of memories and of the present and of expectation will be ours." Or lol, we'll make good hard love and wake up with hangovers and I won't call you again." The poem implies beauty, true love. Not to me, "You're not as good as an old piece of bread." A poem is supposed to imply, not tell, isn't it? Maybe the poem says enough as it is and is subject, as everything else, to the reader's interpretation. Maybe it doesn't need "fixed".
-------
It's lovely. It says to me that nothing can compare with the perfect memories of childhood. They are real and forever. Great job Kaleb. ms
-------
thanks ms, that's the idea I was going for.
)Kaleb
-------
well, it's not a very good poem.
sg
-------
Great! Phenom*
-------
sg, good poetry is largely subjective. beauty is in the eye of the beholder. )kaleb, the poem is a delight to read. *grace