Tank cadence, deep thought.

The blow-hardy few are they
who spread the frame of father tall.
They threat and lie without dismay,
The blow-hardy few are they.
They’re rich, and rich enough to say,
whose pedigree shall cake each stall.
The blow-hardy few are they,
who spread the frame of father tall.
Slicky-Boy, Snow, and Him that pays,
their names go with their virtues fall!
Official right’s been sold away.
Slicky-Boy, Snow, and Him that pays!
A derelict grunts pay won’t defray,
but the VP shakes your hand for all.
Slicky-Boy, Snow, and Him that pays,
their names go with their virtues fall!
From the chill dark fields of Venus today
dog penis handshakes that appall,
and a dead bird, for the life of sway!
From the chill dark fields of Venus today
atop their ferret plume of play,
perfect log cabin suits on all!
From the chill dark fields of Venus today
dog penis handshakes that appall.
The blow-hardy few are they
You babies... writing on the wall!
Your hardy facts let logic stray,
The blow-hardy few are they!
Though doctors and masters fume and bray
Onward Christian soldiers! Marching one and all!
The blow-hardy few are they
You babies writing on the wall!

-------
After Janes This sort of thing is just vulgar. I knew about that when I wrote it, any suggestions comment or critcisms would be appreciated.
-------
Hmm Rabid antitheist with underlying bestiality ideation
and latent homosexuality tendency.
R/O medication noncompliance Bipolar 1 manic ,NPD

-------
FYI: R/O= rule out, NPD= Narcissistic personality disorder can be caused by receiving excessive praise and criticism in childhood, particularly from parental figures, dark field= test for syphlis
revision:
In the deep thought think tank, they roll play
with grips like a dogs dick, their handshakes appall,
and maybe a dead bird, for the life of sway!
At the chill dark fields of Venus buffet,
atop their ferret plumes of play,
they wear perfect log cabin suits on all;
But the chill dark fields of Venus repay,
in dog penis handshakes that appall.

-------
Remove lines six and thirty
whose pedigree shall cake each stall.
AND
Onward Christian soldiers! Marching one and all!
Replace with:
their seeds of glass will your heart stall.
-------
Obscuration is a curse
you made the second even worse
then three.. it becomes perverse
la da da da Burma Shave
-------
In the deep thought think tank, they roll play
political success that’s amoral.
They have a dead bird, and a life of sway!
At the chill dark fields of Venus buffet,
atop their ferret plumes of play,
they wear perfect log cabin suits on all;
But the chill dark fields of Venus repay,
in dead root handshakes that appall.
Perhaps this will be less obscure. Sometimes what goes into poetry is
not so pretty. I hope you know how much I appreciate this criticism.
This version has good meter too, pretty important for a cadence.
-------
Well a cav.. for any “ advise” I might give but as a simple reader I’ll make a couple of observations:
1. Why the rhyme? I find it passé.
2. It seems obvious to me that many political and religious leaders are greedy and are filled with hypocrisy. Some are not. I assume in this you are speaking about the first some, Perhaps politics and religion period have that same negative character among some. Agree
3. ok so as I read this you are sorting out the differences by the use of “ Poetic devises” and my job as the reader is to guess who these devises are suppose to point to.
4. It is here where I think you have so “ Honed” your poem until only you understand it. Now perhaps others have a clear understanding what a”perfect log cabin suit” means or says but I sure do not. A dead bird, the dark field until you brought up the test for syphilis which is about as passé as rhyme.
5. So anyhow a few thoughts with the understanding that the problem might well be with the reader.