unpacking this box
---chandler
of brown cardboard, corners stuffed
---chandler
with old news
---chandler

pilgrim, i wonder if you hear the rats nesting in your attic and tell yourself that they are squirrels on the roof? i wonder if you see their droppings in the corner and tell yourself that it's nothing, that you can't smell anything, that there's nothing to see here, that there are no holes chewed through your keepsakes, no nest in your ma's bronzed baby booties. i wonder if you whisper that the stale air up there couldn't possibly keep even the tiniest pest alive. i wonder if you tell yourself that they're cute, whatever they are, that they have tiny hands and big bright eyes like a baby and that if you hunt them they'll cry. i wonder if you feel like a vulture circling around up there, at the top of the attic stair, looking for signs of meaningless life and wishing death would come more quickly, looking for tiny feet scratching out an SOS. spiderweb annihalation catches the corner of your eye, disturbing the dust, causing you to forget how dry the roof of your mouth is becoming,
causing you to forget.
lhaj, can you hear me? lhaj, are you up there?
-------
pilgrim, i wonder if you hear the rats nesting in your attic and tell yourself that they are squirrels on the roof? i wonder if you see their droppings in the corner and tell yourself that it's nothing, that you can't smell anything, that there's nothing to see here, that there are no holes chewed through your keepsakes, no nest in your ma's bronzed baby booties. i wonder if you whisper that the stale air up there couldn't possibly keep even the tiniest pest alive. i wonder if you tell yourself that they're cute, whatever they are, that they have tiny hands and big bright eyes like a baby and that if you hunt them they'll cry. i wonder if you feel like a vulture circling around up there, at the top of the attic stair, looking for signs of meaningless life and wishing death would come more quickly, looking for tiny feet scratching out an SOS. spiderweb annihalation catches the corner of your eye, disturbing the dust, causing you to forget how dry the roof of your mouth is becoming,
causing you to forget.
lhaj, can you hear me? lhaj, are you up there?