... only the tempo and lyrics change

(song of a suicide king)
couldn't love any less if i ran this with scissors
all these marathons, the ribbon cutting ceremony,
the finish line breaking suddenly,
the rumors, the whispers
sinister in their anonymity,
eventually they all go away,
leaving me
with outreached hands with nothing
upon my palms, only accusations
within my heart
around my feet are piled
the presents, the gifts, the psalms,
all the
accolades, and phrases that convey
no honor, just fury
at the way things turned
these are
just the games of bored
royal patrons engaged in
libel and stories of vicious
imagination, scandal
and sensual abandon
with no appreciation for these plots and
intrigues
i let my head fall, and my breath grow pained
the celebration
ends when the blood fatigues,
and you too will crawl under the weight and the strain
the crowd dissipates
just
when you need everyone
to gather around and hold you aloft,
there is suddenly no justice,
only this
sudden loneliness
and the mess
mobs leave
when they leave quickly
one day,
when i get old
with my bad bones,
bald spots
my heart gone soft,
and my brain to shit
i'll still love you
but you'll be vibrant
dancing beneath the dirt,
every flower in your hair
everything
in you
frolicking genuine
you're
the real deal
sitting between
a pair of nines
you're the fine,
the fair
the queen of spades
the only truth left untrampled
at the end of time
you're the only reason I play,
i sware,
i'll stay and...
i need to cut this out
before
i start tapping my feet again,
losing sleep again,
trying to keep up with you
before I start thinking
i could shimmy,
shake,
stay awake
all day, only sinking into sleep
when you've called it quits,
and I'm almost positive
that you're not bluffing
and so tired, I'd almost close my eyes,
i would
yawn, stretch away the exhaustion
is there anything left to tell?
I watch you
take your time
then
smile,
take my hands
kiss my cheek
and right as I wonder
what I'm holding onto
you'll leave with him
with only a little laughter
being hushed
by
a door quietly closed,
and the only thing
i won was
a lullaby of goodbye,
one helluva hymn
and that's never a reason
to brave battle...
never again
_________
-o-