the old retire
acknowledging exhaustion
knowledge becomes grey
or dissappears
like a head of hair
or memories
-
mice nest
in the corner of the maze
comfortably snuggled
bodies conforming to eachothers curves
a studied existence

to be continued. needs much revising. title: Brain -chandler 1/16
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"flash slides" of pictures of life and progression. (perhaps):)
Makes interesting thoughts. Rae
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chilling, absolutely chilling. when I read a poem on this sight and I wake up in the night after reading it, and I'm thinking about it, it's a good poem for me. This is so good. The truth. The closed to the truth a poem comes, the better a poem is.
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are you sure it isn't already "finished", Chandler? Couldn't it stay the way it is?
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"acknowledging exhaustion". that's good...well it's all good. -cam
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Chandler-
I'm not sure if your intent is to expand this idea or to simply revise what is already here. I personally think that the first stanza's imagery could be continued to be more easily correllated with the beginning of the second(although I think the current connection is quite brilliant). Just a thought. Good start though.

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(above comment)
P.M.David