why doncha cover my mouth?
and keep me from saying
all those things
that make you hate me so much
why doncha try and suffocate me?
just keep me quiet a little longer
so i can sit here
and look pretty for you
why doncha throw me down?
so i can push you back
make you feel like a man again
no smart mouth bitch
is gonna talk to you
like that

*teyie
http://www.undulate.f2s.com

The vulgarity wasn't necessary
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why not put in quotes that part about the smart mouthed bitch and use the pronoun "me" in place of "you."
A few comments, no reflection on your fine poem.
1. The style of the comment "the vulgarity wasn't necessary" is familiar, "deja vu." I seen it before. Jane probably or maybe even Ann. Someone things they're really God, or if not God, certainly a seventh grade teacher or a preacher. I see people in here bending over backward to be nice to each other. That's a good sign I think. But when someone gets all hot and titsy over a simple suggestion like the one I made above and turns it personal, that's ridiculous. What is this? Just, I either like you or I don't and if I don't like you, I'm going to say your poem is off. I can't stand Audee but she writes some of the most beautiful poetry I've ever read here and I don't know her, so how can I not like her? Anyway, because I simply fall victim of admiration of Audee's poetry, I just skip commenting on it. Seems to me, whatever we think of each other on this site, we ought to be free of people who are ugly about simple constructive opinions.
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Sometimes, the first thing I think about when reading others poems,
is where did this come from??
Was it their life?, Memory or creative thinking?
Experience and what we feel inside are often expressed through words.
Words spoken, written, sang and or otherwise.
Thus we have freedom of thought. Some express in ways we wouldn't,
under no curcumstances should we be rude about it.
P.s
Dear 1st commentator:
If you had written this poem and had been feeling the Exact way as
the poet, whos to say that you would't have expressed yourself in
the same way?? ~`

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teyie, I can relate well with this poem I like it as it is, as I feel it says exactly what you wanted it to say. If it was "prettied around" it might then lose the "punch" you wanted it to show. :) ~ audee
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tahnks for the comments/support ^_^ *teyie
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Personally, considering the hate that was expressed in this poem, a more gentle word would not have worked, and would have made the poem more comical. If it said "smart faced doody head" the reader would be laughing instead of feeling what the writer was trying to express. I think that this was tastefully written, but all have different tastes. Lori S. Maynard
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I don't think this is a poem to bitch about.
It is pretty good at putting a point accross....cem