giveaway

he shows it to her and she nods like
she always did. and it looks to him like
friends as his mind fixes his perspective from
him looking at her to how they must look
from a distance. smiles. because she knows
it all without being pretentious. yes everything
and there is no comma no apostrophe no
brackets no pause to her knowledge and doubt
will not enter in to it. she puts her hand into
the small of a back but not his and he
realizes the new perspective he chose is a
much nicer place to look from. smiles. he
takes it back and into his pocket before her
head turns to leave. and though his heart
should follow, and though his stare does,
she takes nothing of his with her. he takes
one step back. he counts five of hers away
and a promise sincerely lies from her mouth
about what will happen tomorrow and when
he will see her where. and before she's gone
she's gone. they are gone. he stands in a
soft sodium dreamlite frosted with moths, and
he's aware of the purple. suddenly, waiting
for the build-up to break, he is tired.
jerry
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Jerry..this is great. Nothing left out here....excellent.
)Kaleb
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i am intrigued by this jerry. i love the ambience, the rotating perspective, the brief and sublte interaction, the parting. But i am completly lost as to what he shows to her...fallon
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jerry... i find this tremendously fascinating. such experiences are not easily worded, and yet, here are such words flowing one into the other.
there is so much to say....i'll leave it at 'i loved it'!!!!
~haizey
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Thanks, )Kaleb, fallon, haizey. i made a choice in this poem to leave whatever it was he showed her open, to be filled in by whatever applied most to the reader. i guess it is a bit confusing, upon rereading. i have been working on an edit. i'll try and post it when complete. and fallon, i am impressed by the volume of your entries. it is surpassed only by the quality. this certainly is a wonderful place to post and exchange ideas./jerry
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ps/ i pictured a locket./jerry