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Poem Number 16530
Untitled#9
Commentary:
You ever wonder how tough you are
how much more can you lungs take
how many needles in your vien
how long until the holes in your brain
bleed again?
and what can you see in me
my coke/speed/weed/dream
and why do you still come back?
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P.M.David
Impromptu so forgive the lack of rythm.
Comments/Suggestions?
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This has power and motion p.m., wouldn't mind seeing it go a little farther...fallon
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I agree with fallon. There is some good rhyme here that moves the poem along well. I like it.-jeffh
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ouch...well written.
~haizey
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