he wants to be the life of the party,
but doesn't know where to begin
so he steps to the edge of the dance floor,
and his pants split up the seam!
she came to his rescue with needle and thread,
with gentle stitch and steady hand,
his pants were saved from close to dead.
But now he was forced to cross his legs
because her touch arose from within
an urge in him to blow his keg

Your lines highlight a human predicament with taste and humor. Good effort. =- Kyle
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I will not even go there!
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lmao... i like this!!!!