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Poem Number 16204
i remember it, somehow,
as a thing writ upon a leaf,
one of so many to fall in that
dark wood.
For i, yet not conceived was there,
in the coiled thread as pulled from
the weave within the cell.
Was i not there, that first bright day
and walked the greenness of it,
moving through rapturous brilliance,
and purity and fullness and wonderment?
Yes! and whatever i met, i gave it name,
each, another form of other, and calling
all things to brotherhood.
Eons, i spent under the tree,
in the days when waking was as sweet
as the dream.
Until, was plucked from me, an image,
out of the deep and still.
And as if i knew not my mind,
As if my mind knew not me,
yet, did we ache to be one again,
laboring in vain to fill a single space,
gasping and swooning at the nearness
of our becoming!
How the divided heart does love itself,
and seeks to bind itself with gifts and pledges,
living only unto itself, forgetting,
and so forgetting, of wither and whence it came.
But then the fruits did deny their savor,
tasting of coals and bitter ashes,
and did the sun abdicate,
setting like a cinder laid upon the naked eye,
which welled the tear to spark and fall,
and falling still, in that dark wood,
unhitching hell's four mournful beasts.
And this i remember so well;
a pounding of hooves outside my cell,
this morning.
~
Commentary:
WoW...this is good. The way you use words is so.."good." I've never heard it put quite so well. Thank you.
)Kaleb
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wow! you are digging deep :-)
The woman from man and the yearning still to be as one in union.
Wonderful poem fallon. ~ audee
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Simply spectacular..this poem is why I return to this page. -jeffh
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wonderful piece...as always you take us on a journey with you...m.e.
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fallon - i knew it was you. This poem (and it seems all others of yours) makes me think, question and challenge.
lin
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um...wow. I started reading this kinda half-heartedly. By the third line I was riveted. wow.
~cam
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Wow, just read it again. REALLY REALLY GOOD.
~cam
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Thank you friends...f
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A bit on the long side, Fallon. Or perhaps it is just my mood. I will return to read it a second time. The language is beautiful but I got weary of reading and didn't know what I had read when I finished. Did not like "yes" the answer to the question that begins on line 8. unnecessary. You are why I return to this page. You and I may pleasure in once in a great while finding a new poet or a line that is special and wonderful. Do you now not sign your name. Must we guess? Not too difficult as you are the only good poet here. That will set a few up in arms, I suppose.
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I'm always afraid to say anything on this site. So many snipy mean people jump on everything you say. Like criticism is some kind of viper that they want to destroy. It's great that Audee can so clearly reach her interpretation of your poem. Mine is not so clear. I get the idea of a babe in his mother's womb and I love the part about the heart. The cell, I see an actual prisoner, an inmate.
Wonderful Fallon. Great artist. Your fan.
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