Poem Number 19484

Voigt-Kampff Response #54398, featuring very minimal fluctuations.

Examiner: "You see the turtle in the deser--"

Examinee: "Wot is a turtle, pal?"

Examiner: "Not a crustacean."

Examinee: "Tortoise would have been more realistic, in the middle of the desert."

Examiner: "Nobody said it was in the middle. Now please do not interrupt the questions, else this examination will not hold respectable form. So, you see the -- tortoise -- overturned, in the middle of the desert. What do you do?"

Examinee: "I leave a portion of myself in this reality, and then lie down, and become the tortoise."

Examiner: "You become the tortoise?"

Examinee: "It is very important, in arid locations especially, to truly understand the suffering of creatures, especially ones that are ... so alien to oneself. The suffering tortoise is such an alien, bizarre being."

Examiner: "But you are never, ever, really the tortoise, are you?"

Examinee: "That sounds like the kind of question a murderous psychopath may ask the tortoise me. Why are you separating me from the actual nature of the crime? Will I be more convenient to kill, that way? I am feeling the pain of the arid desert, as a mislocated testudine."

Examiner: "Nobody is trying to kill you. Very well. So you become the tortoise. Why do things always have to be this difficult with you? Could you not have simply turned the creature over, kindly, and left the area?"

Examinee: (Nods wisely) "Ah, but that is what the portion of me that I left behind in reality is for, Examiner. To turn me over, once I emulate the suffering tortoise. Witness my unbelievable sensation of relief. Better than any porno."

Examiner: "Ok, only a robot would say that. You are a robot."

-fr0