The Interactive Poetry Pages
Salon of Solo Poetry for Critique - One
You are invited to add your own commentary for this poem.
Poem Number 19078
Tank Cadence Deep Thought
Commentary:
The blow-hardy few are they
who spread the frame of father tall.
They threat and lie without dismay,
The blow-hardy few are they.
They’re rich, and rich enough to say,
their seeds of glass will your heart stall.
The blow-hardy few are they,
who spread the frame of father tall.
In the deep thought think tank, they roll play
political success that’s amoral.
They have a dead bird, and a life of sway!
At the chill dark fields of Venus buffet,
atop their ferret plumes of play,
they wear perfect log cabin suits on all;
but the chill dark fields of Venus repay,
in dead root handshakes that appall.
Slicky-Boy, Snow, and Him that pays,
their names go with their virtues fall!
Official right’s been sold away.
Slicky-Boy, Snow, and Him that pays!
A derelict grunts pay won’t defray,
but the VP shakes your hand for all.
Slicky-Boy, Snow, and Him that pays,
their names go with their virtues fall!
The blow-hardy few are they
You babies... writing on the wall!
Your hardy facts let logic stray,
The blow-hardy few are they!
Though doctors and masters fume and bray
their seeds of glass will your heart stall!
The blow-hardy few are they
You babies writing on the wall!
These are spots in your love feasts, while they feast with you without fear, serving only themselves. They are clouds without water, carried about by the winds;
late autumn trees without fruit, twice dead, pulled up by the roots; raging waves of the sea, foaming up their own shame; wandering stars for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever.
JUDE 1:12-13
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This is a powerful poem, written in the style of old, and with vernacular of such. With the 'father' figure emphasis.
What I find interesting is the sprinkling of modern elements into the poem. Slicky-Boy, etc. While they may seem relevant at present, what happens, due to the heavy ancient egyptian influence of the poem, is that they sound like items from the 80s.
Still, rocking poem.
riverfr0zen
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Thanks for the feedback, it means a lot.
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