The Interactive Poetry Pages
Salon of Poetry for Critique - Four
You are invited to add your own commentary for this poem.
Poem Number 359
Sixtyfour Line Poem Experiment
I woke up from a dream, not knowing what was real
The raven pecking at my eyes, the lepers at my heels
fire bright in the palm of my hand, I turned and tossed a flame
the birds fly-off screaming, as the lepers chant my name
the ceiling begins to peel while the smell of popcorn fills the air
and before me stands myself with wild eyes that stare
we embraced in gales of laughter while his father said to me
"Ten times twenty-four plus one million and sixty-three"
genes are jeans we nodded - as the seams began to burst
the tears streaming down the walls doing little for our thirst
& salty dogs came floating by in little pirate boats
assualting the shaved-backed monkeys filling up their coats
with nickles that the lepers threw for the organ grinder
a fit, a start - another line - just a reminder
Commentary:
Sounds like the Capitan's meal at the local greasy spoon, served in a paper boat.
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your turn...
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Does that first line get to count as one of the lines of the poem? Just asking.
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probably
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